Letter from the States

The famous photographer Woody Treeg comes to Sintjohannesga just for the Orange Community Games.

Howdy,

My name is Woody Treeg, a famous cowboy from the (wild) west of the United States of the America. My profession is photographer and made some impressive photoshoots with famous people like Abe Lincoln (car salesman, not the president), Billy the Big and of course Mariah Carey (during a concert with my I-phone).

I was asked by the webmaster of Sintjut.nl to deliver some phtotographic artwork of the comming festival in youre great village Sintjut City. From my contact person I heard that your village will be turned in an old western movie style village, with a lot of gangsters, cowboys and cowgirls and indians. This is ofcourse my expertise, that's why i come to the great country Holland (somewhere near The Netherlands and Dutchland).

Sintjut aka Sintjohannesga aka Sint Jansgea is a village near the city Amsterdam, best known as the city with the Red Light District and Drugs capital of the World. A village were the people speak two native languages: Dutch and Frisian. Ofcourse will I try to understand your language, so I bought a dictionary Du-FRL. It should not be a problem to understand you... Kein problem, must sehr gut gehen.

Let's look to the activities the Orange Community has planned for you the week between 15 june and 19 june:

15 june

The Playbackshow, where people do acts pretending to be a famous singer or band. I suppose that you choose country singers. May i suggest you the following artists: The Hillbillies (best singers of the west), Mariah Carey and not to forget Dolly Parton (known for her two best talents).

16 june

People games, where normal folks do normal games. We in the west like games like barrel shooting, hanging of a horse thief (if not available we use the village freak) and Wilhelm Tell apple shooting (in stead of using a crossbow, we use the revolver). The last two years there were no one killed during our games, except the horse thief.

In the letter from Holland stood that you do not carry guns, not even a suitable revolver. I may not take my magnum with me... Without my gun I feel naked, I never leave my gun home. You also have a magnum, but as a icecream. With a icecream it's impossible to kill even your grandmother, what a stupid idea.

For the kids you have child disco. This I must see: little childeren linedancing on heavy rock music. Never performed outside of the US, but now in the great village of Sintjut. When you heard ever of the drive-in-show Lightningbolt, you can expect a lightning storm during this evening. This is even forbidden in our land of oppertunities, you should never hurd these kids with lightningbolts.

De shanty coir de headammers will give a show, you'll never forget. Really, you should see them, they are realy good.

17 june

Childplay with a thing with wooden horses turning round and round and round. This couldn't be wright. Why do you not use real horses in a rodeo. Not only fun for kids, but more fun for the elders. You asked btw that they will come as cowboys and indians. Please don't do that. Cowboys and indians are like ice and fire, they do not match. The party probaly will end in a gunfight with bows, arrows and plastic waterguns.

In the evening you got an act with Tim Douwsma (never heard of this guy, but probaly a known cowboy in youre country) and the Top Fourthy coverband Jetset.

18 june

Buurtenkamp. According to my contact this is a serie of games with several neighborhoods. There is nothing more entertaining than see your neighbours fight. In my last fight in the west was a bar fight, only tree people left the building alive: me (hiding under a pooltable), the sherrif and the doctor. The last one was the strongest, he had a scalpel with him (not completely fair).

In the evening the band Papadigrazzi is comming to the great village Sintjut. I never could imagine that the best Italian restaurant of Vegas ever had a band and is invited to the Holland to perform. If the band sucks, you always can ask for their famous, delicious pizza's.

I'm very glad that I am invited to do some shooting. It's always my wish to see youre beautiful country with the bleu and with houses, windmills and people on wooden shoes.

And in my best dutch:

Aufwiedersehen am fest, es GIET OAN!

With kind regards,

Woody Treeg

Sintjut.nl, 29 mei 2011